i was miandering through the newness of ye olde 20six, and i came across something that amused me..my first blog.

 my first blog ever, was on 20six, in july of 2003..mostly dealing with how my mom had made me mad (some things never change), and with how excited i was to be going to furnace fest.

furnace fest was this screamo/hardcore show in birmingham..and was the first time i ever hung out with marc and wes. who knew?

since then, i have about 74 pages listing different blogs that i have written on here. bizarro.

anywho...i am sleepy this morning. i let myself, once again, get all out of whack over the weekend. it is just pretty much impossible to make myself go to bed at 4 on the weekends. i just can't stare into danny gilmore's little puppy dog eyes and tell him that i have to go to bed, so that i can get up at midnight and sit around by myself. so i stayed up all night every night, watching the freaks and geeks boxed set.

speaking of danny..he was bit by a spider last weekend when we went camping. it sort of festered for a while, and then yesterday, i got to it, and you would not believe the sheer amount of disgustingness that squished out of it in oranges and yellows. today it looks really bad, so i am making him go to the doctor to be put on antibiotics. i am hoping i can slip out of the office with the excuse that i have to take him. maybe then i can get a nap.

here's to wishing.

wowsa..it is 4 in the morning..and we pretty much have the show wrapped up.

i had black tea this morning..and a cliff bar that apparently contained green tea in it. i am so hopped up on caffeine right now that i could probably run all the way to prattville in my high heels.

speaking of which..bought a lot of shoes over the weekend cause i finally got paid. have on some GLORIOUS steve madden flapper-style brown heels with little buttons on the sides that i got on sale for under 40 bucks (and thats a bargain if you didn't know it). i also bought some egregiously brightly colored onasuka tiger tennis shoes (teal, purple, and orange in a fabulous array for my footloose pleasure), and 2 pairs of flats from target.

sadly, i can not spend another dime. i found out this morning that i won't be getting a refund check, which means i have to pull over 500 dollars out of my ass to pay summer tuition to troy. good thing i work 2 jobs and have nothing better to spend my money on (like say paying off my car or putting a downpayment on a house). i am particularly annoyed because the only reason i dont get the money is that i am a student. nevermind that i work for a living just like everyone else (and probably a whole lot harder that a lot of the bums blowing their checks on big screen t.v.'s and their baby mommas-yeah..i said it).

i will prevail!

as far as i can tell steve and possibly one other person are the only ones who ever read this. that is good though. i feel more at ease letting secrets slip. like this one.

got a dress in the mail at my mom's place yesterday.
its white.
and, depending on if it fits properly, it may be pretty important sometime in the future.

marking 2 years in less than 30 days. don't be jealous. i am happy.

but that is beside the point.

my point today..has a lot to do about money, but not much to do about a lot of money. i finally got my first paycheck from the television station! hooray! it is ultra-yay because when i deposited it this afternoon, i had a whopping $26 dollars spread over 2 bank accounts, an empty gas tank and a water bill due. it was ugly.

but now all is right with the world. i get my acte check tomorrow, so perhaps i will even be able to stick a little cash away for savings.

what kind of 21 year-old am i-saving money?

i will tell you..an industrious one. once i get my check from good ole g.w. sometime in the next week or two, i will have troy paid off, all on my little lonesome. i am pretty proud of it..being able to take care of myself and all (never mind that guy that i live with who buys me food. who needs food?!). next up i have an unsubsidized loan that i want to pay out in full when i get the bill around the first of august. after that..my p.o.s. car is getting paid off..and then it is savings for a white dress and a white picket fence. i figure i should start saving now, because if i don't, who will?

danny is probably getting a second job, however, but he is really bad with money. it just slips through the fingers. he has managed to save a whopping $20 for the backpacking trip he wants us to take through europe. so i figure i will let him pay for groceries cause he is going to spend the money any way, and i will save all of my extra money for the things we really need.

working 2 jobs for a while aught to actually put me in the black. i can't believe it.

speaking of frivilous spending..we are going to see john prine tomorrow night, after going out for thai food. it will be a really great end to a really busy first 70 hour work week. i don't want to let us turn into two ships passing in the night, so the weekends now have to really be planned so that we can get maximum relationship time in. it has been hard only seeing him at lunch and midnight for like 15 minutes, but its only going to get better. saturday we are going up to my parents place to ride bikes and fish and camp out on the back of the property. should be awesome.

i am banking on it.

my life is mirroring belle and sebastian songs today.

its uber-gay.

got some odd news today regarding my past. i am oddly unfettered right now. let me tap into a bottle of red wine this afternoon, and we will see if i still feel the same. i am pretty sure the news was the next best thing to closure, however, so god bless. the past several years have flown by, and its sort of like i had my sweater caught on something, so to speak. it ripped clean this morning.
in other news, my internship is going to cost me over a grand, which means, essentially, that i should look very thin when i graduate from college, cause all danny and i will be eating is canned veggies and sandwiches on cheap wheat bread. its cool cause i might have some expensive clothes that i will need to squeeze into. i won't lie and say that i am not getting impatient, but the boy is one of those weirdos who like to look before they leap...look a lot apparently. i can't say too much that is negative. it offsets my over-impulsiveness.

why are you people still reading my cryptic bullshit? or are you?

confliction.

is that a word? who cares. it is what i am getting at these days. love, school, work, devotion, and self-interest.

i would rather just sleep in some days.

and i don't know if it is right for me to still be curious, but i am and that is just the way it is.

danny and i are renewing the lease to get a jump once i graduate and get a job. the internship at wsfa is in the works and looking near-certain. too bad i am not interested in television. i should have stuck with print, but i am as wishy washy as they come. some girl in one of my classes offered me money to write a paper for her. i am considering it. she is rich and i am poor, so it seems to be my right-right?

i should make a career of it. i will probably end up with 3 or 4 degrees and no job experience. god bless america.

my jordanian friend sami told me i should move to dubai when i graduate. his sister is rich making 10 bucks an hour at a dillards. i won't lie and say there isn't at least a minor interest within me, but there is a minor interest in a lot of things..like running away.

it is amazing how you can live so close to someone and never see them.