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exhaustion
i could work more, but i think might die.
i think i would rather die.
its just damned depressing..to have the good sort of weekend that i did..a lot of lying around..a lot of watching tv..a lot of hours between the sheets..and then i have to wake up sunday night and head back to the clock.
i am too young to feel like i am middle aged.
the money is finally sort of starting to come in. my tv is calling it quits..the volume button changes the channel and the closed caption spells expletives out to me when it shouldn't even be on, so i am going to have to replace it. we casually looked at some flat screens over the weekend. i may be able to casually buy one in a week or three. i think danny was a little floored that i have been able to save money, but my theory is this. he will not save it. he is going to spend all of his money on food (which is good, because i eat food, but he buys/eats A LOT of food) or vitamins or some other health crap, so i might as well let him continue to do that, while i save some money and get non-renewable resources..like a tv (or our diningroom set..or our couch..or pretty much all of our furniture, which he eventually paid me back for). i happen to be very good at saving money..and, unlike him, i can live without eating 7 square meals a day. i am good with wheat noodles and italian dressing..if that's what i have to do to make some money.
but working sucks.
it wouldn't suck so bad, but working two jobs is pretty much what i figure hell is like. i am tired when i go to sleep. i am tired when i wake up. i am tired when i go pee. i am tired when i eat lunch. on the weekend..there is about a 6 hour period when i am not tired..but that too passes..and i am back to the pits. i have headaches every day. i get so tired that i can't really eat because i feel nauseas. it just isn't healthy, and my weight is yo-yoing all over the place.
oh and, ladies and gentlemen, i am bloating and bitchy, which can only be the symptoms of yet another problem i have on my plate presently.
i thought i would be full time by now, but my bosses mother got really sick and he left to stay with her for 2 weeks...came back for a day...and then she died. now, from what i hear, it has already been a week, and it could be another before he comes back to work, and i know that he isn't in ohio thinking of how everything is stinking here for me back in alabama.
and my second job just blows.
nuff said.
i want:a full time position at the station.
i want:to get off work and to be done with work until the next day.
i want:a raise.
i want:a gym membership. its top priority after the raise.
mostly..i just want to go home and crawl in the bed.
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